The Beginning

Four attempts and three blogs later here I am in my final attempt. In the past, I have tried blogging for a number of reasons, the death of a pet, the loss of a loved one...blah blah blah. Reasons that seemed so significant at that time but I never got around to putting my thoughts to words. Maybe because they were issues I could share with people...friends, families, colleagues.

And now here I am with a secret that I cant share with my loved ones or strangers. Afraid of the disappointment in their eyes and the disgust in their words. And so I turn to my friendly companion who does not tell me off and holds my secret in its complex system that is beyond my understanding - the Internet.

I have never had a diary in my life. In all these years of ups and downs...I have never considered a diary. I don't know if that was because of my nosy family or my own insecurity. But then again I have never had to hide anything from my family. I had a pretty 'decent' life...there was school and college and work...the straight path.

Okay so I have always been a little bit of the black sheep in my small family...a little rebellious, a lot stubborn and very much different. But over the years I have adjusted myself to their expectations, swallowing my own desires and dreams and leading a life that is 'correct' in the eyes of society.

But 'correct' did not make me happy. And so I let a little of the fast life I so craved seep into my seemingly proper living. I trod the forbidden path and there is no turning back.